We all have bad days, or weeks, or even months. We all feel overwhelmed at times. Things usually get better. Sometimes that's hard to remember when you're down. But stress, depression, and even suicide happen in the lives of people young and old.
Problems get people down. We feel tense, fearful, or angry because things are changing—they seem out of control. It's hard to manage. More than 2,000 Minnesota junior and senior high school students were asked how they handle serious problems in their lives. Can you guess what they said? They either try to handle the problem themselves or talk to their friends. It's important to think about how to help yourself as well as a friend who comes to you.

How People React To Stress & Problems

Failure on a test, a fight with a friend, an argument with a parent, or a put-down by a teacher can be upsetting. Many things that cause problems are beyond our control: parents divorcing, a family moving away, the death of someone close to us, or family financial problems. We all know someone who has broken up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, feared pregnancy, gotten in trouble with the law, or felt utterly deserted and alone.
There are three basic ways of reacting to the problem:
You can get angry - scream, shout, throw things, start a fight, or go on a rampage.
You can withdraw - take a drink, shut up in a room, take a pill, daydream, stop talking to everyone.
You can take charge - think out the problem, try to find a solution, ask for help, or work for change.

Unhealthy Ways To React To Problems

Aggression and anger get attention. Striking out at whomever seems responsible for the problem brings temporary relief. But aggressive actions, like drinking too much, driving recklessly, swearing at people, and breaking up things, can cause trouble in the long run. They don't usually solve the problem.
Withdrawal can also be destructive.
It's normal to react, “Just leave me alone!” But if it goes on for a long time, we are without what we need most—sharing, understanding, and help. Alone with a problem, we feel like no one cares. The depression and anger become worse, and we begin to make bad choices instead of healthy ones.

Healthy Ways To React To Problems

When your stomach churns, your head aches, and fear creeps through your insides, your mind and body are reacting to stress. There are a number of things you can do, such as:
talk to someone you trust
share what is bothering you
listen to music and relax
get some physical exercise
do something that normally gives you pleasure
give yourself a chance to think
These are first-aid actions. They don't solve the problem, but you can blow off some steam. Once that's done, it's a good idea to get in touch with someone you trust and respect. This could be a friend, a friend's parent, a coach, or someone you work with. Go have a good talk; lay out the problem and try to figure out some ways to solve it.

Warning Signs Of Trouble

Be aware of real trouble signs. Any one of these alone, lasting only a short time, is normal. But if you know a friend with several of these problems lasting more than a couple of weeks, they may be nearing a crisis. They need help. The warning signs can include:
avoiding friends, activities, school, social events
totally unable to think of anything but the problem
unexpected outbursts of anger or crying
unable to sleep; always feeling exhausted, irritated
unable to eat; or eating and vomiting
escaping by sleeping or daydreaming all the time
severe behavior change - quiet person becoming wild or active
person becoming withdrawn
excessive use of drugs or alcohol.