Complaining Only Makes Things Worse

Behind every complaint is an idea or a belief or a value that a person is committed to. Otherwise,why be upset?
once people stop thinking of themselves as complainers -- which is not an ennobling way for anyone to feel -- and start thinking of themselves as people who are committed to something, that sets the stage for them to do something about their problem. That happens not by dismissing the complaint but by finding the commitment behind it.

Figure out what others around you -- and what you yourself -- are doing to thwart the goal you're committed to. Identify to what degree you have some control of the situation. That doesn't mean that other people aren't responsible. It's about recognizing that in almost every circumstance, we have some hand in why our commitment is not being realized. For example, somebody might realize that he's never told his boss, "I don't feel you're taking my perspective into account. I'm not happy with the way we work together."

Be direct. Relaying a compliment through a third party may seem better than nothing, but is it going to have the desired effect? Not really. To offer a meaningful compliment, make sure you talk directly to the person you're complimenting. Don't say something nice about someone to his coworkers or praise him in a meeting that he's not in. Compliments have more power when they're delivered directly to the person, preferably in front of other people.

Be specific. Merely saying, "Hey, you did a great job in that meeting last week" may sound nice, but in practical terms, it is a fairly worthless remark. The problem is that the person you're talking to has no idea what he did that impressed you or how he made a difference. Give as much information as you can about why you're pleased and what effect the person's actions have had on the larger picture.

Be professional. It's better to tell someone how her good deeds or work affected you, rather than telling her what kind of person you think she is. You shouldn't presume to define someone (even in a flattering light), and personal assessments are just that -- personal. Instead of saying, "I appreciate what a thoughtful person you are," try saying, "I appreciate the way you took time to fill me in on that meeting I missed."

Realise i did Alot of silLy thing before! Look back i was Childish to say thOSE words To heR! Although maybe it just is an excuse,it's true that there were many things happened at thOSE mOnthes making me tOO upset to remember to be responsible for What i do, nO matTeR How i FeEl.

Thanks K for helping me to cover what did i wrtie in my tag-board.That's really wonderful!
Thanks Ting and Jas who stand by my side and support me always.

And,mc,i'm sOrRy. =[.